Jamie & His Influence

One of my heroes and inspirations is Jamie Tworkowski, the founder of To Write Love on Her Arms- a mental health awareness nonprofit that has served me comfort, understanding, and community in times of absence in my heart. He may never see this, but that’s okay. What I need to know is that people play an important role in other people’s lives whether they know that or may never. He is one of the people I look up to and can see as a role model that dreams do come true and that mine are within reach. He shows me that I can do it because he did it. That’s not to say it was easy by any means and free of pain, struggle, and heartache. It does show me that the love for others outweighs the suffering we must endure in order to make a difference. And that difference doesn’t have to be in every single person you encounter life. It just has to be one. It only takes one. Because whether Jamie knows it or not, he made a difference to me. I am that one. He inspires me in a degree that can’t be known.

People may think I seem foolish and naive in what I wish to accomplish in my life. They fail to realize that at the basis of it all: I merely want to help others.

To let others live in a community of hope, help, and acceptance. To let them know there is love to be given and love to be received. One of the endless list of things I’ve learned from Jamie is to show appreciation for those in your life. To tell them you love them. You need them. You are there for them. And the impression they have left on your heart can never be erased.

It has given me the realization to reshape my story. To own up to it and show that even though some of it fucked with my brain and made me question my life more times than it ever should, that I reclaim the victory and beauty and goodness in it. It is my story and deserves to be told like all others. It is no longer one defined by bipolar depression and anxiety but one of resilience, rising, and pursuing God in the midst of it all. The point of view that I told my story in for so long was helpless and that it should be looked at as one of sympathy for me. Yet, I failed to realize those who had hurt me in my life were going through all kinds of hurt themselves. I’m not going to say that I’ve 100% worked it all out with those people in my life like my mom who have really hurt me. But I am going to say that I am leaning more into seeing the other side. To work toward a relationship that can be mended instead of one of bitterness, conflict, rage, depression, unworthiness, and closed off. Because you never know when life on this earth can come to an end. So you might as well live this life where you are open and honest with yourself and those around you. Where you are working to progress than regress. Life is chock full of complexities. That is to say the least. Yet, it can be just a little bit simpler when you look to God and place all those complexities in His hands. I am going to start thanking those in my life and saying the positive roles they have played in my life- whether they have passed, have served their chapter in my story, or continue to walk beside me. Because at the end of it all, life is good. It may be hard to always see that, but sometimes you just have to work really hard to see through the rain coming down hard on your windshield. Because you’ll make it out on the other side where grace, compassion, hope, and sunlight all live.

I’ll be writing a new, revised version of my story so far. So be on the lookout. I hope you can reclaim your story into one of strength, character, love, and victory.

P.s. thank you, Jamie. You will continue to and forever hold a place in my heart of inspiration, wisdom, courage, and hope. I hope to one day be a fraction of the person you are and let others know that we are a we than an I, me, he, or she.