“I Am From…” – a poem by me
UPDATE: This was written my second week at USF. I never got around from switching this blog post from a draft to being officially posted. So, I thought it was time to post it because the message is still central: gratitude for where I came from and who surrounded me in my stages of childhood into adulthood.
Hey y’all! Long time, no talk. That is my fault for sure. Life has been one heck of a roller coaster ride that has left me smiling more and more lately. So I took a very, very long hiatus from this blog and writing. Sorry for not keeping up with it consistently. Camp for 11 weeks with very little phone time and being surrounded by children 24/7 while watching over them can make it quite difficult to keep in touch. Going off the grid was definitely a nice refresher, especially in terms of social media. Let me tell you, life is a whole lot happier when you stop comparing your life to everyone else’s and just start living your life deliberately. Camp was a CRAZY whirlwind of emotions. That whole story and experience is for another time. Let me catch you up to where I am now. So last time we talked was when?? Oh yeah, now I remember. I left for the summer by talking about my gap year story, journey, and lessons which brings us smoothly to where we are now. If I hadn’t taken my gap year, then I wouldn’t have made one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life (if not the BEST decision I’ve made thus far) which is going to the University of San Francisco. So, I was gone at camp from May 31st to August 10th. On Wednesday, August 15th, my dad and I drive up to Dallas. Then the following day at 4:30 in the morning, my aunt, dad, and I get up to fly out to SF. Beyond exciting yet nerve-racking!!!! From the moment I got home, I was stressing majorly about college and not feeling adequately prepared. For honest’s sake, I had to cram all of my stuff (mostly clothes) in two big suitcases that could not weigh over 50 lbs and say “Hasta la vista!” to my home of Austin, Texas, and hello to my big and bright new city of San Francisco, California. Yet when the plane touches the ground at the SFO Airport right off the bay of SF, it hits me. I am here. This is where I chose. This is where I am going to be for the next 4 years. This is my new home. Wow. What a feeling. When arriving to campus and moving in, I just knew that the University of San Francisco was where I was meant to be and that I had indeed made the right choice. There were no questions or doubts this time about if this was the place I was supposed to belong. It was a certainty instead. A certainty of excitement and acceptance and a future of endless and great possibilities. From here on out, I’ve been thriving haha, but I also actually mean that. I have made a good group of gal frens off the 2nd floor of my dorm as well as other friends from other places like classes or programs and whatnot. It’s been more than great! It’s been unreal yet totally and completely so real. It’s like all the momentary pain I went through for a time manifested and transformed itself into all this greatness and joyfulness. You can say I am ABSOLUTELY LOVING it to say the least. I love this city and its culture and damn good food and so many little different districts and variety of places to go and things to do. I love my university and its acceptance of all people no matter their gender, sexual orientation, race, religious beliefs, etc. USF makes a conscious effort to hear other people’s viewpoint and be a place of understanding, growth, and love. It focuses on social justice, diversity (ranked #2 out of colleges in the U.S. for the most diverse college whoop whoop!), and empathy. The people here truly help you to learn how you can best “Change the World from Here.” You can talk so freely about so many topics that are brushed under the rug or people feel unsafe or judged if they talk about such things, ex: LGBTQI, religions, your own sexuality or gender or beliefs, your moral values, race & the trials still happening today. From my ethics class called “Queering Religion” I have learned that we are all privileged in one way or another. There is a societal hierarchy of privilege where the straight, college-educated, beautiful/handsome, usually non-religious, white men hold the top position. Then if you do not fit one category of that which I described above, you go further and further down the totem pole. For me, I would step down one because of my skin color, then another step down because I am a woman, another step down because I am a Christian, and another step down because I am not considered the ideal beauty. As people tell me, “You are exotic-looking” which you know that they really mean you are just like nothing they BUT, I can step up because I have the privilege of being cisgender and heterosexual. Anyways, I am constantly learning, growing, and changing each and every day here. This realization is beyond scary yet beyond exciting at the same time!!
Here is a poem I wrote in my USF 101 class that we had 10 minutes to write nonstop about where we came from. We were told by our teacher (who is a hip San Franciscan mother of two, a doula on the side, woodworking master, and seller of homemade caramel dipping sauce for fresh sliced apples haha) to just put our pen to paper and just start. Then the words would take us from there on out! So this is the result of that. Please enjoy even if you are not able to relate to everything exactly. Peace & Love!
“I Am From…” -a poem by Bethany Cohen
I am from
Austin, Texas
a place of live music, barbecue, and the outdoors
an active city full of life, vibrancy, and weirdness
where you can be anything and everything all at once
a poet, an artist, an architect, a musician, a business man or woman, a doctor or nurse, a teacher, a free bird, & a dreamer
My home is my home
it is the place I was raised in
where countless pictures off our 80s Polaroid camera were taken of us
where I danced in the living room
where I listened to my oldest brother play piano
where my brothers and I watched VCR movies like The Goonies, Back to the Future, Emperor’s New Groove, Mighty Ducks, Little Giants, and Indiana Jones
where I learned how to walk, to bike, to dance, and to love
To work hard for what you believed in
To push past what the naysayers say and push on forward to your dreams
where my cousin and I would jump on our old, rusty trampoline for hours on end
where my friends and I would have scary movie marathons in the late nights which would turn into early mornings
where my mother walked out on me and my family on January 4th of my freshman year of high school
where I cried in the shoulders of my dad as the boy I thought I loved and who loved me broke my heart into a million pieces
where I studied nights upon nights striving to be all that I can in terms of academics
where I read more about the world and the people in it
where I wrote about my pain, my joys, my hopes, my endeavors, and my future
where I experienced my bipolar depression & generalized anxiety disorder & social anxiety & PTSD in full fruition and learned to come to terms with all of it on my own time but that it was easier to do when I had good people by my side
where I knew love was cultivated here and meant to be shared outward into the great big and unknown world that still has much left to be explored
where when driving down that old familiar street to the place I call home I looked at every house each different in their own with the feeling of nostalgia and comfort all at once
My home is my home where I come from.
And for that, I am thankful.
