“The World Is Funny That Way” by Josie

(photo and effects by me)

Josie is a dear friend of mine who is one of the people in my life who is able to relate with me on a deeper level past the superficial facades of this world which is a RARE thing to find these days. She questions deeply and loves deeply. She came into my life 3 years ago at my summer camp when we worked together week 2 (Wow! The time has flown by). It was my first time being a counselor and her first time being a co-counselor so we were experiencing the fears and anxieties along with hopefulness and newness together. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner since she gave me the help, hope, and love I needed to believe in myself that I could do it. It was definitely hard and scary having all this responsibility but a lot less scary with her by my side. It was truly a gift from God which sounds cheesy and all, but it is genuine too. You know when certain people come along in your storybook and alter your world and the trajectory of your path for the better, well that’s what Josie did. So thank you, Josie. We both crave the diversity and the longing for something more. She is artistic and liberal, honest and caring, a dreamer and a believer, and above all, a role model to me. Sorry to both her and my readers that I posted this so late and have been missing in action. All I will say is college. You know what I mean by that. College. Anyways, enjoy this beautiful piece of writing by a beautiful human being. Feel free to write your thoughts and comments below. If you want to post something like Josie and others, just email me which you can find on the “Contact Bethany” page.

-xoxo, Bethany

“The World Is Funny That Way”

April 14, 2019

Bethany,

One thing Iʼve always heard said is “Everything happens for a reason”. I understood it well and Iʼve held tight to that saying a few times in my life. However, I never knew the true significance of that until these past couple of months.

Iʼm currently in my first year off college. College has been new and exciting, especially my very first semester. I made some really great connections and had mental plans for how my life was going to unfold throughout the remainder of my college years. Everything was going to be great.

Then, everything kind of fell apart. To have all of your plans disappear in a span of a few months is extremely hard to grasp for someone who had everything planned around them. Itʼs even harder for a person who mentally needs to have everything be in their control. Iʼve suffered from depression and other mental illnesses to where I couldnʼt function unless I had complete control. Itʼs been a struggle at times for me to deal with. Iʼve been working with these for a long time now.

When everything fell apart, I seemed to fall apart too. Everything was gone. I had to start over with something else, some new aspiration that I had to go find. I felt really lost and very alone.

It seemed world-ending to have one amazing opportunity taken from me and to have everything else taken with it. When this happened, it was easy to slip into depression and simply stop, stay stagnant in place and to think that I had nothing else. My mind told me that there was nothing else out there for me and that I was worthless and unwanted.

This is when the saying “Everything happens for a reason” got really important to me. I had to hold on to the fact that I indeed was cared for and loved even if it wasnʼt being shown at the time. I mattered and had a future that I just hadnʼt found yet. It was scary too.

Iʼll probably continue to struggle and wonder why doors closed and what my future holds. Itʼs always going to be hard not knowing why I lost that amazing opportunity. But trusting in the future and knowing that I will find joy in something else makes the difficult moments easier. Depression can get under our skin and make us think that we will never find anything happiness again. We just have to realize that there are so many more days ahead of us that are going to be amazing. We just have to wait. This is only one part of my life, not the whole thing.

Some of you reading this may be facing a situation like this now and Iʼm sure all of you will face something like this at least once in your life. Youʼre never given anything you canʼt handle. You may have to search for that joy or it may find you. The world is funny that way. Itʼs not over. If anything, this is just the beginning of something new, on the horizon waiting for you.

-Josie